Anyone been pregnant while hubby was away on deployment?

[Tashina USMC wifey]

So here is our huge dilemma. Well I guess more so mine than his. My hubby is in CA training to go to Iraq the end of Sept. Hes been there since April 3, 2009. We were 2 mo. preggo but I miscarried in March. We were super excited and really wanted the baby. But shortly after I had the m/c he found out he was getting deployed and was leaving in a week to CA. So maybe it happened for a reason, cuz I would be due in October and he would just be getting to Iraq and would miss the birth. But here's my question, he will be home Sept. 14th for 8 days before going to Iraq and I should be ovulating. Should we try to get pregnant or wait til he gets home next May of 2010? If we did get pregnant next month, I would be due in June of 2010, so he would be home for the birth. My hubby is all for me getting pregnant next month. He said it will give him something extra to look forward to coming home to, knowing his baby will be born a month after he gets home. But I just want to hear from some other wives who've done the pregnancy thing while their hubby was deployed and how it went and what advice you have for me. Thanks ladies!

[Nedra Jordan]

I actually was pregnant in May 2005 my hubby deployed that October, so he missed half the pregnancy and the birth. It was hard going through it alone, I am not gonna lie. If you don't mind that part that's great at least he will be back for the birth, I was near family when he was gone which helped because I needed them if he wasn't around. My baby was 3 months old when he met his dad not too bad. I think you should go for it, my hubby jokes about not having to deal with the mood swings and food craving cause he wasn't home lol.

[Silver Xeno]

Just an FYI, while the military may not pay for it, I highly suggest finding a DOULA. There is something called the DONA network, and you can find a doula throught their website. It's basically someone to help you while you deliver...like a mother's advocate, and she will know how to help keep you calm, and focused during labor & delivery. Shop around for one...prices can vary a lot. But if you would ever have to go through it alone...it would probably be a BIG HELP.

[Tashina USMC wifey]

Thank you Silver Xeno, that is helpful info, but my hubby should be home for the birth if we were to get pregnant next month. But I will keep that in mind for any future pregnancies if I need it. :)

[Tashina USMC wifey]

Thanks ladies. Yeah I am home, so I'm around family too. And that was one way I looked it too, I told my hubby "Well you would get to miss out on all my mood swings." lol... I will just leave it in God's hands, and if its meant to be it will happen. Thanks again

[Erin B.]

i personaly wouldnt.. id wait and try till may.. because u will be changing and going through alot and he wont be there to understnd while you are changing.. and when he gets home from his deployment the 2 of you will have to get back on track and you will be huge pregnet and your mood will not be the best most likley, and trying to reunite with ur hubby and then having a new baby might be alot of stress and could hurt you guys....
i personaly would want my man to be with me during the pregnancy.. Why should you have to go through that all alone? it takes two to tango and he shoudl be with you at doctor apt's. and grow with you. this will be a huge life changing experience and you shoudl go through it together.... if you can...
thats just my thaughts.. good luck with what ever you do...

[Erin B.]

plus you his deployment can last longer then planned and he might not come home when you think he would.. which would even be more stressful....

[Amanda]

i use to think about this alot and ask myself "hmmm, do i wanna be pregnant while he's gone so he can be home for the birth or be here during but not for the birth" then i got to the point i told him we wouldnt have kids till he was done with deployments but he loves the navy and i dont see him being done anytime soon. Im two months pregnant now and we found out the day after he deployed, hes gone til december and my due date is in march. i was sad that he wouldnt be here to go to the doctors appointments and go threw this with me, but so far im strong i havent had a day where im mad at him for not being here. but i do to believe things happen for a reason, one i got pregnant while we were in his home town which he hadnt been back for two years and then when he gets back the sub he is on is going into drydock for six months and he'll be home for the birth. Everyone is gonna have a different time, i think mine has a lot to do with the fact that we had a long distance relationship so when he leaves its not as hard anymore but im sure once there is a baby in the household ill have a different thought about it. Its all up to you, really talk about how you two feel about it, i knew that i wanted him there for the birth. Just try if it was ment to happen it will happen, Good Luck :)

[Tashina USMC wifey]

Yeah I thought about that too, but April is the latest he will be there. They could be home as early as March, well not home but out of country. Then they go back to CA for their debriefing for 15 days then he will get to come home. But they were told that they were needed at least til the elections are over in Iraq which will be March. I will just let what's meant to be happen. Thank you for your reply.

[SoBlessed]

I got pregnant in August (unknowingly), found out October 1, he had to go to Cuba in December. He missed the birth (May 07) bc a detainee tried to commit suicide. (yea) We may not have any more children, as he has another daughter so that makes 2 for us. I would be fine with no more but I feel like I missed out on being pregnant "with" him. He wasn't there to hold me at night, rub my belly, see it move, carry heavy things for me (as stupid as that sounds!), feel her kick, hold my hand, dr appts, THE BIRTH! I don't really think about it bc I know that wanting that experience with him is not a good reason to have another child! Is there a big rush other than him leaving? If its meant to be, it will be, and I'm sure he'd like to be there and experience it all with you. I don't want to sway you either way, I know it seems kind of convenient (one women told me it was like "multitasking" while her dh was gone! lol) but its good that you're weighing the options. Good luck and God bless :)